Doomsday Is Nigh!!!

Once again, the High Priests are warning of impending catastrophe, a certain end to all we know and love, the great Apocalypse foreshadowed by the prophets, and there's NO WAY TO STOP IT!!!!!

Except to raise taxes and spend a Gazillion dollars on big government.

Where have I heard this before?

Oh, yeah... some preacher at The Church or Global Cooling... Global Warming... Global Cooling... Climate Change was just recently warning us that if we don't tax CO2 emitters (that is to say, every living, breathing thing that falls under the 'fauna' category) and turn over the cash to, well, The Church, then the oceans will boil (or freeze... I forget what they've decided this week), children and childish adults will cry, the planet will die, and all life as we know it will end. Uncaring Conservatives are too stoopid to admit that the debate is over and the science is settled; and besides, they all live in mountaintop mansions with air conditioning and won't be affected when the tides rise 100 ft. We're rushing ahead to environmental doomsday faster than Barney Frank to happy hour at The Ramrod. And the only way to stop it is to raise taxes and spend a Gazillion dollars on big government.

Now, we find ourselves on the brink of our new Catastrophe du Jour: Complete economic collapse. We're losing 500 million jobs each month -- quite a feat, in a country with only 300 million people. Soon, elitist Liberals won't be able to afford the fuel for their Gulfstreams; this in turn will reduce attendance at Sundance and Cannes, causing the economy to further spiral into the abyss. Uncaring Conservatives don't need money as long as they have their religion and guns to cling to, and their ears are deaf to the cries of the children whom they have no concern for once they're out of the womb. We're rushing ahead to economic doomsday faster than Ted Kennedy to a bridge. And the only way to stop it is to raise taxes and spend a Gazillion dollars on big government.

Save us, Obama!!!

Obama: Catastrophe coming if Congress doesn't act

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Barack Obama said Wednesday the recession will turn into "a catastrophe" if the economic stimulus is not passed quickly, lobbying for the plan anew as its price tag climbed above $900 billion and drew more criticism.

The president rejected several criticisms of the plan: that tax cuts alone would solve the problem, or that longer-term goals such as energy independence and health care reform can wait until afterward. The White House released some of Obama's remarks ahead of a White House announcement on executive compensation limits.

[...]

Obama urged members of Congress "to act without delay" while also promising to make changes to the legislation.

"No plan is perfect, and we should work to make it stronger," he said. "Let's not make the perfect the enemy of the essential. Let's show people all over our country who are looking for leadership in this difficult time that we are equal to the task."

Obama has sought each day to ratchet up the pressure on lawmakers, bringing different supportive groups to the White House, scheduling a series of TV interviews, even traveling to a charter school to tout one portion of the bill.

"A failure to act, and act now, will turn crisis into a catastrophe and guarantee a longer recession, a less robust recovery, and a more uncertain future," he said in his prepared remarks. "That's why I feel such a sense of urgency about the Economic Recovery and Reinvestment Plan."

Remember, folks -- it's only the Conservatives that use fear as a tool to further their agendas.

Obama argued that recalcitrant lawmakers need to get behind his approach, saying the American people expressed their preference for his ideas when they chose him as president in November.

In other words, "I won."

Yes, you won, Savior. But you didn't win by telling voters beforehand that you were going to go on a $1,000,000,000,000+ spending spree during your first month in office. For those who get desensitized by all those zeros, here's a pretty picture to put it all into perspective:

(h/t Suitably Flip, via Libertarian.org)

Many others have pointed out that the Democrats have the votes to pass this on their own, they don't need "bipartisanship" to implement this scam. However, they will need bipartisanship when, in the near future, they find themselves in front of voters to explain this debacle. They need bipartisanship so they can deflect the blame to the Republicans when (if?) the American people wake up and realize they've been fleeced.

You'd think the GOP would see through all this... but no, they're going scurry aboard and sign onto this piece of garbage anyway. They'll knock maybe a few billion dollars from the bill and pass perhaps a $1.1T package instead of a $1.2T one, then delude themselves into believing they were victorious. The Loyal Opposition has morphed into the Loyal Lapdog, which is why I despise Republicans even more than the Democrats right now -- at least the Dems do what they promise.

Update 2/5: No letting up on the fear-mongering. Malkin covers our Savior-in-Chief's op-ed piece in Pravda The Washington Post.