Ohh... Bamm... Ahhh!

Must. Read.

Boo Fucking Hoo Du Jour

Be still my bleeding heart:

"A whopping 582,000 direct and indirect jobs would be lost in Canada over the next five years if the ailing Big Three US auto makers shut down their Ontario operations, said a study Tuesday.

"If output is reduced by 50 percent, 296,000 jobs would be lost nationally, said the 11-page report prepared for the Ontario Manufacturing Council.

Gee, I wonder how much the Canadian government is kicking in towards the bailout. Oh, it says right here...:

"On Friday, the Canadian and Ontario governments reached a tentative deal for a 3.4-billion Canadian dollar (2.8 billion US) bailout of Chrysler, General Motors and Ford's operations in Ontario province."

Wow, $2.8 billion, out of what? $50 billion? In other words, the Canadians are basically going to contribute bus fare. Gee, thanks.

As always, I've got a better idea -- how about the so-called "Big Three" pick up and move their entire operations to Canada, along with the union bosses who want to continue living high on the hog while milking the US taxpayer to subsidize their lifestyles. Hell, the Canadians are good Socialists, they won't mind footing the bill for the good of the proletariat. Bon voyage, douchebags.

Guess The Party!

Since it's politically acceptable that Obama purchased the White House, others apparently thought it only natural that his prior office be put up for sale:

Illinois Gov. Rod R. Blagojevich and his Chief of Staff, John Harris, were arrested today by FBI agents on federal corruption charges alleging that they and others are engaging in ongoing criminal activity: conspiring to obtain personal financial benefits for Blagojevich by leveraging his sole authority to appoint a United States Senator; threatening to withhold substantial state assistance to the Tribune Company in connection with the sale of Wrigley Field to induce the firing of Chicago Tribune editorial board members sharply critical of Blagojevich; and to obtain campaign contributions in exchange for official actions -- both historically and now in a push before a new state ethics law takes effect January 1, 2009.

Oddly (no, not really...), there's no mention in the CBS article of which political party the Hon. Governor Blagojevich belongs to. So I checked the Chicago Tribune's story, and whatcha' know? No mention there, either. Ditto Sun-Times. Surely the vaunted New York Times, the old gray lady, America's newspaper of record, all the news that's shit to print... surely The Times would tell me, right? No... I must therefore conclude that he is an Independent, like all criminal politicians who are not Republicans.

Ha ha! Just kidding -- he's a DEMOCRAT! Who woulda' thunk that tidbit of information would be neglected in the reporting by certain major newspapers?

Interestingly, I never had to do a Wikipedia search to find out that Ted Stevens was a Republican. Or Larry Craig. Or Vito Fossello. Or Duke Cunningham. Why, I didn't have to read past the second paragraph to find out their party affiliation. Curious, considering there is no media bias.